


Missing Him

by catholicschoolgirl



Category: One Direction (Band), Taylor Swift (Musician)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-10
Updated: 2013-09-10
Packaged: 2017-12-26 04:51:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/961759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catholicschoolgirl/pseuds/catholicschoolgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Missing him was dark gray.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Missing Him

**Author's Note:**

> Just a drabble. Title from the Taylor Swift song, Red. Also I know those lyrics are allegedly about John Mayer but let me have my moment ok.

It's really in the quiet moments that she misses him the most. And as the heavy, pounding heat of summer gives way to the steady, slinky breeze of fall, she begins to remember everything she once thought she could love about him. The attributes that she thought would always be carved into her bones had faded, but the memory is still there, in deep grooves in her mind that she imagines she could almost run her fingers over as she mentally skirts through thoughts, dreams, and missed opportunities, turning them into lyrics as her pen whispers over journal pages.

Because she knows what people say about her, knows that people laugh at her for being young, for dating and falling deeply because she has the unfortunate personality quirk of wearing her heart on her sleeve. She is fine with the talk, but she misses laughing about it all with him.

He was just so smart, and he understood Hollywood in a refreshing way, maybe because he had been fashioned under the bright lights, undergoing trial every week on national television. She had grown up in this business, too, understood the importance of playing the game, denying rumors while starting new ones all in the same breath. It is all so exhausting, easy to turn to something else in order to stay awake, stay sane, try to stay yourself. And he understood, listened to her when she couldn't keep it all in and Selena was too busy herself, unable to lend an ear. He was just so steady and open and refreshingly _real_ , a true gentleman when she had gotten so used to snakes.

She knew that it would all come falling down. The way their relationship officially started was not a good sign of things to come – the cycle of flirtation and disappointment, and then the intensity of his gaze and the relentless pursuit when she got fed up with it all and decided to be with someone else – and she knew that inevitably one of them would lash out because things had been going too good. But she never expected she would be left alone in the middle of the sea when it all went to shit.

She had been bitter for so long, afterward. She is only starting to realize that she isn't bitter anymore.

And she misses him. Is just getting used to being able to talk about him without a string of curses flowing before or after, but. She misses him. And she thinks that maybe the song she weaves for him won't turn out the way everyone is expecting. 


End file.
